This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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