Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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