No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
