when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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