I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize