I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
