When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
