you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
