Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
