she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize