Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
