Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
