I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
