That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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