you traded sex for a burrito?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
