i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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