he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
