is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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