When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
