loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
