I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
