Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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