I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I love you. Go after that dick
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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