Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just want to make out with him forever
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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