May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Randomize