who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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