and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Are my feet made of real feet?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
