hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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