He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
