We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
