Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
