How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
