I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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