why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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