Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
