i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
