first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
