ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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