your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
