Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
