Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
now i know why i became what i already was.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
