did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
