My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
