her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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