you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
