You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
