this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
