I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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