All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So many bounce houses so little time
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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