Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
