my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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