Sry I called you an 8
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
