So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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