My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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