In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
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