so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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