More tranny stories later!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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