I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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