I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
