Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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