Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
