Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
