hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
