She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
