I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
