It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
