I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
