eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize