Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There's always time for handjobs
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
