Your mouth is God's brothel.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We need to get me chipped asap
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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