I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my being single is dangerous.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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