What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
